guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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