Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
