if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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