I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
