the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize