Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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