just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
