At least make sure they are 18
Why
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's not a walk of shame if you run
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
