i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
