Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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