I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
