Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I feel great
I just peed on a car
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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