Me. At least after what I've been through.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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