I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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