I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
