Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
