honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
