Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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