doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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