You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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