Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
