if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize