its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
