wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i think i have two assholes
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
