things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
