I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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