Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
