I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
