check it out our google latitudes are spooning
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
