My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize