wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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