Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she was so not down for the gang bang
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
