Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
