Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize