I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
