You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
