I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
