Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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