some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
