her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
