smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
