Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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