dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dear god my vagina.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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