Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
