He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
