I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
