He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
