I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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