I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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