If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
