i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
