I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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