After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize