I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
