after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
