the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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