i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
